A weekly brief for men building careers and families.

Whatup, fam. New week, hope you're rested and ready to rock. I am taking the family of 5 out to the West Coast this week, which means I'll be spending a few hours at 30,000 feet practicing everything I'm about to write to you about.

This week’s issue is for every dad who has ever lost it over something small and wondered what's actually driving it. Spoiler: it's usually not what you think.

01 - The Core 🎯

One principle to carry into the week.

THE QUOTE

THE TAKE

I genuinely believe that statement - that is until the week hits and suddenly I'm acting like God took a few days off and left me in charge.

Because lately I've had a shorter fuse, correcting everything, grilling my kids over potty words like I'm a prosecuting attorney. Tell me I’m not alone here.

And when I actually took a moment to stop and look at what was driving it, the answer was pretty uncomfortable: I want to control the outcome, and when I can't, I start to panic and it comes out as frustration.

The fear underneath it sounds responsible, telling myself if I don't step in, catch every little thing, and shield them from every bad habit or wrong word, they're going to turn out horrible. But that fear isn't really parenting from strength. It's parenting from a quiet belief that God might miss something and I need to be there to cover it.

Paul David Tripp wrote a really good piece on this that's worth your time. He tells this story about a family trip to a theme park where before they even get through the gate, his kids are in a full brawl over one can of soda from the cooler - and he completely loses it in the parking lot.

His honest reflection afterward struck a serious chord: "I'm not angry because my children are sinners. I'm angry that God has exposed their sin and now I have to forsake my agenda and parent them." That's the real thing most of the time. It's not actually about the kids, it's about us not wanting our plan disrupted.

What God has been showing me this week is that my need to control how my kids turn out is really just a lack of trust that He actually has them, and when that fear starts running the show, it doesn't come out clean or constructive, it comes out sideways on my kids, my wife, and whoever else is in the blast radius.

This week in church, God reminded me that He’s got it from here. Not as a reason to coast, but as an invitation to put something down. Put down the white-knuckling. Put down the doomsday scenarios. Put down the striving over outcomes that were never mine to control in the first place.

Dallas Willard wrote in Renovation of the Heart that God is "sensitive to the slightest move of the heart toward him," and the move he's asking for here isn't more effort, it's more trust.

God had your kids before you did, His commitment to them runs deeper than yours ever could, and He's not going to lose them just because you loosened your grip.

THE MOVE

Find a quiet moment today and pray this:

God, take my fear. Take my control. Take the scenarios I keep running in my head. I just want to be present with my kids today instead of managing an outcome that was always yours to begin with. In Jesus Name, Amen.

02 - The Question ❓

One question for the week.

Last week, the question was asked, “Where do you need to go first this week?” Here were the results:

Know a man who'd find this useful? Forward this to him.

Hold the standard,

-Collier